This Blog Is Not A Beautiful And Unique Snowflake
It's more like a beautiful and unique papermache craft made by preschoolers. But at least it was amde by ones who haven't made a habit of shoving crayons up their noses...well, not yet, at any rate.
As for life itself, I've found myself in a bit of a slump. With all the heat and risk of overheating my laptop, my already endangered writing has now had to be placed on hold. (At least until we figure out what's the best angle for the desk fans, but that might take a bit.) The sad side-effect is that I've slid into a sort of ennui. I'm atrophying as we speak. And soon the world will lapse into depression too, being deprived of my literary genius for so long.
...my, those crickets are really chirping outside.
Anyhoo, today I decided to seek some sort of guidance. I looked up, and plainly asked for a sign from on high. And my request was granted! Woot! Within the hour, one of the students from the universities (as far as I could tell she was Chinese, based on her facial features) strolled in to look at purses. And then I bore witness to the shirt she wore.
In the middle of the shirt was a picture of the Eiffel Tower. To the left were the words: CHAOS. CHISH. HAZARD. And to the right were the oddly-hyphenated words: DON-T-DO-IT.
The message couldn't be any more obvious. So, not to worry; I've taken this message to heart and won't invade the Eiffel Tower. Though I have yet to figure out what the hell a "chish" is. I think it has something to do with chickens. And I must admit I'm terrified to Google it, just in case in inadvertently commit an act of Google Seppuku. (I still haven't quite recovered from the "blueberry muffin" search.)
...and if you think that shirt was weird, you should see the one in the store next-door to us. There's a really weird photohop of a giant great white shark's head snapping after some set of shapely legs that appear to be leaping right out of the ocean. And underneath that is some totally unrelated caption about how the rule of etiquette #233 states that "a distinguished gentleman always enjoys three meals a day."
Maybe the distinguished gentleman is a shark, we just don't know. But it does give a great mental image of some aristocratic-sounding shark who has a monocle over one black, nightmarish-looking eye. "I say, terrible sorry to put you in a spot of bother, but I'm afraid I'm one meal short for the day's quota and you appear to be it. I do hope you won't mind the agonizingly painful death I'm about to put you through. By the way, do you have a mint?"
Labels: at least this blog makes more sense than the Tshirts I see these days
posted by Phillip at 4:45 AM
